for what remains

For the first time  

in a long time,  

I asked for God's forgiveness;

an attempt to make amends for my sins.

Cruelly scraped out of me,  

hopeless cries spilled across the floor,  

an Irish goodbye as you walked toward the door,

Shamelessly, I asked again—  

will I be forgiven this time?

I kneel on the cold floor,  

searching for fragments of you in between;  

If I can’t find and hold pieces of you as I pray,  

then how will I be forgiven for what I've done?

Will He be the most forgiving, the most merciful,  

when He sees you in the shameless cries and beneath my dirty skin?  

Will He damn me for eternity  

when He knows I’m still willing to give it all up  

for bruises and harsh words seared into my soul?

Sept 22 ‘24

p.s; i know a place, it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face, we get married in my head.