everything and nothing

i dreamt about you last night,

in my messy, disdainful bedroom

it's like i could sense your presence near,

warm and home-like, even when it doesn't necessarily mean i was loved

even when it isn't love

i feel comfortable to be in this state

to be breathing in my body

with your traces fading on it

don't just stand there, 

and stare,

with your dark green shirt,

and your dark doe eyes,

don't just stand there,

and stare,

as if you're wanting to run away,

though chained with your numbing sense of responsibility,

that you can't transform as a reality,

so tell me everything's alright,

that i would be fine,

with your arms around,

and all of you but carelessly and benign,

tell me that it wasn't just a dream,

that you do care about me,

with every inch of your body,

and everything and nothing.

july 31st 2024